Nov 7, 2010

One Of My Favourite Chudwuffers

http://www.chudwuffer.com/2008/09/29/boring-sex/

and this one

http://www.chudwuffer.com/2008/09/23/hugh-manatee/

There are an embarrassing number of broken images...

Nov 6, 2010

REVIEW: The Social Network

First class. The Social Network is first class filmmaking.

Mark Zuckerberg invented Facebook, and this is his tale through the eyes of the author Ben Mezrich, who wrote the controversial book The Accidental Billionaires, that Aaron Sorkin then turned into a screenplay. Remember that: this film is a fictionalised account of what took place in the years before and after Facebook took over the world and made Jesse Eisenberg and his youthful cohorts billionaires. How much of it is real and how much of it isn't will create a maelstrom of discussion online for years, maybe decades. It doesn't matter. What does matter is that the elements Sorkin has created and director David Fincher has visualised tell a terrifyingly true-to-life portrayal of our modern time. I agree with other critics; this film captures the zeitgeist.

David Fincher is a great director. He's had his share of misses, but his hits become pieces of cinema that will be remembered long after he's gone. His direction here is masterful, subtle and restrained. This isn't a wild, psychotic visual ride like Fight Club, but more of a steady, mature journey like Zodiac. That Fincher re-teamed with Jeff Cronenweth is a blessing, as the DP's own style has matured into a gorgeous collection of techniques that blend together to show a stark, contrasty, somewhat high-definition digital looking modern Boston and California. The opening shots of Harvard in winter at night, with sodium lamp yellows against stunning centuries-old school buildings as a jilted Zuckerberg runs home through the snow set the tone for a realistic portrayal of a different world, here on earth. Cronenweth uses the tools at his disposal and plays with the final image to give us something unique. His tiltshifts of the rowing meet are lovely, and it's cool to see that effect used outside of a commercial for HP or Kodak. Fincher's re-teamed with Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails for the soundtrack, and Reznor delivers a score I immediately downloaded when I got home. It's a mix of quiet organic moments and very synthy beats that express the emotion of each scene beautifully, hauntingly or aggressively. The second track, In Motion, a heavy, thudding kind of retro sounding beat that runs over Zuckerberg's frenzied, emotional creation of Facemash as Fincher cuts back to one of Harvard's elite clubs getting its freak on was memorable.
Concept art, courtesy thesocialnetwork-movie.com
Jesse Eisenberg has helmed a great rising-star career. He's done it right, and this is his crowning achievement. I loved him in Adventureland, and though his mumbly style may have been suspected of aping Michael Cera, he demonstrated early on in his indie selections that he could indeed act, that there were raw and challenging emotions beneath his awkward, nerdy performances. Those complexities are thrown into sharp relief in The Social Network, as Eisenberg gives us glimpses into an angry, possibly Asberger's-ridden nerd who really, really wants to be cool, but whose faint misanthropy and the massive chip on his shoulder creates something worse.  Combine these traits with becoming a billionaire and being hailed a genius and Eisenberg's Zuckerberg demonstrates a three dimensional person, someone conflicted, someone you can't call a monster or evil, because he's really just a jerk or an arsehole at his worst - but real, someone you've met. Sometimes he's loyal, apologetic or friendly, but there's always that smug, indignant anger in Zuckerberg's eyes. It's a great performance of one of the most deep and realised characters on the screen this year.

The rest of the cast are stellar - there's a reason they use the term ensemble cast. When everyone else is a top performer, you can't just call them the supporting cast. Justin Timberlake in particular stands out as Sean Parker, the founder of Napster and a future vision or dark shadow of the young internet entrepreneur that Zuckerberg is captivated by. The Winklevoss brothers, two Harvard seniors and identical twins who get mixed up in lawsuits against Zuckerberg, are played by two different actors, which blew me away when I looked it up just now for this review. Armie Hammer and Josh Pence don't look like bros, yet are fairly similar. Apparently, they were trained to mimic each other's subtle actions, then Pence's face was morphed to look like Hammer's. In certain scenes, it's Hammer talking to himself, but with clever but rather standard editing tricks. I had no idea. Very authentic work, and surely some of the best special effects I've ever seen, because I didn't see them!

One of the biggest joys was Aaron Sorkin's screenplay. Any West Wing fan knows why, and the dialogue in The Social Network is as acidic, fork-tongued, snappy and quick as anything Sorkin has written. He's really wrapped his chubby hands around this source material and bled out some terrific scenes. There's never a wasted moment, never an unnecessary scene, always characters that resonate and have depth. Characters who in other films may come off are throwaway are instead empowered and just as smart as the main characters. All second tier of characters who are only in one or two scenes bring their own decades long histories with them, and challenge Mark Zuckerberg in some way, bringing out the various, toe-curling facets of this fascinating man and the behemoth he built to ride to the land of cool.

Zuckerberg strode into a world of business, dominated by men in their late forties wearing suits and ties, and with a gang of youth-fuelled, anger-driven egotists, smashed the conventions of how a billionaire looks and acts. His posse of coolly yet affectedly casual staff and management wear thongs and hoodies like a uniform, build themselves a legend as giant killers and godmakers. While their thought processes may at times be repugnant, there is still a genuine awe in their achievements at such a young age. When he was about 24 years old, Zuckerberg's Facebook was worth 25 billion dollars, and it's because he capitalised on what my generation finds cool.
At first, everyone seemed to think this film was unnecessary. "We don't need a Facebook movie!" thousands of critics sneered on their blogs or sites, the updates of which were most likely fed to their thousands of Facebook pages or status feeds and liked by millions of friends. Like it or not, Sean Parker is right when he says in the film, "We used to live in farms, and then in cities. And now we're gonna live on the Internet." He's right. Of course he's right. Through what medium did I post this review? Through what medium are you reading it right now? Businesses are now completely dependent on it. Social networks are formed and maintained through it. Nothing exemplifies that more than Facebook, the site that was founded 6 years ago but is still used by a huge majority of the modern world today to stay connected to friends, family and strangers. Sorkin is wise to have crafted this tale, and he also lends it credibility by delivering the most authentic dialogue from people my age talking about the internet. There's no irony or pained humour - the internet is a part of these people's lives. It is Now, and Sorkin writes it so. We're all a part of this story, because we all helped build Facebook and the internet into the monster and overarching social necessity it is today.

I left Facebook a few months ago, and when my sister sits in front of me at a cafe and tells me she I should go back on Facebook so she can show me the photos from her trip, or catch me up on her last few weeks, despite being right in front of me in real life, I can see how important Facebook is and how necessary this film was. The Social Network is first class.

Nov 2, 2010

Stephen Fry's Comments About Cottaging Are Not Misogyny

All of you STOP! Read the goddamn article that Stephen Fry was originally quoted in. Be somewhat familiar with Stephen Fry. It is completely out of context and verging on vicious lies when all these newspapers and blogs run with a headline like, "Women can't enjoy sex," and use phrases like, "In a bizarre outburst."

What absolute bloody arsehanky. What a slimy, sniveling, under-rock-crawling, straw grasping, pathetic approach to journalism these people are taking.

How on earth can you call an organized interview an outburst? And again, read the bloody article and you'll see there's not a skerrick of misogyny. What a horrid, ludicrous and opportunistic word to throw at someone as consistently compassionate and concerned for human rights as Stephen Fry. Commenters are pointing at that he's old and gay, using that as a reason for his comments, as if he's mentally slipped from syphilis due to his years of buggery. What a horrid way to treat someone. Fry has said numerous times his being gay was a fiery trial that almost ended with him at the end of a rope or choking on his own vomit. He emerged firm on the need to accept people and his liberal mind and pursuits demonstrate a commitment to equality and human rights.

What we're seeing here is a completely overblown and misguided sense of feminism, a vicious mutation of feminism that isn't true to the cause, that seeks to crush men instead of equalize women. It's the sort of feminism you find in a university campus among a group of young women recently scorned by lovers who have thrown their hands in the air angrily and said they've given up on men, but who, ten years later, lose their anger, find the right man (or woman) and buy a labradoodle together, hopefully feeling faintly embarrassed about their overwrought man-hating when they look back at campus life during a nostalgic moment. Worse, it's women who never let go of that anger and look for any possible target to unleash on, never once thinking to have a proper look at the target first.

The comments and articles spewing out in relation to Fry's interview smack of ignorance and off-topic agenda-pushing rants. I remember when a book was released that talked about sex, IVF and homosexuality, aimed at young kids. People decried the book while proudly stating that of course they hadn't actually read it, it's filth and evil. This week's trashy articles read exactly like those squealing fools.

It's not feminism that is happening here. Feminists aren't attacking Stephen Fry for his harmless comments about gay men having much higher and sometimes more kinky sex drives than women. It's people who think they are feminists. People who think that tearing down an old queer who states quite truthfully that there are very few places to find heterosexual cruising lanes or cottages makes them a feminist.

Feminism is about increasing the power of women so they can take their rightful place next to men, not under them. Feminism is about creating a culture that sees humans, not man and woman. It's about breaking barriers: wage barriers, job barriers, rights barriers. It's about changing the minds of men who dismiss women just because they are women. It has nothing to do with a gay men commenting that he thinks gay men like sex more than straight women, in the context of whether or not women use public places for lewd and lascivious acts. Re-read that last sentence and see how ludicrous it sounds to judge a man's entire worldview based on such a light and frivolous topic.

Nov 1, 2010

Top 10 Free iPhone Apps for Nerds

There's lots of apps in the Apple store. Like, lots. 200,000. That's a lot. Here are the ones I think are tops, the top 10 apps for people like me: nerdy, business-minded gamers who drink too much coffee.

ANZ goMoney
If you don't have an ANZ account, this one's less useful, but as a bank app, it's incredible. You sign up once using your bank account details and input a unique PIN for your phone only. Once that's done, you only ever have to type in your unique PIN to gain fast, instant access to your accounts. You can customise the images for each account, using pre-loaded ANZ card designs or your own photo library. Very slick.

iSpy Analytics
Maybe not the best google analytics app, but for free, it's pretty great. A lovely, clean red design and pie charts mean you've got an interface you don't need to strain your eyes for and a fairly broad range of reports for multiple accounts. As an analytics junkie, I'm always quickly checking blog or website stats on the go.

Shazam
A general favourite, this guy listens to a song on the radio or through the speakers of the clothes shop while you wait for your partner to come out of the changing room, and tell you who performs it, what album it's from and what it's called. Simple, yet one of those apps you've unknowingly wanted for years.

Skype
Skype is obvious, but when you combine the iPhone, headphones with built in mic and a video game console, you have free, wireless, cheap connection to chat while gaming, without needing to buy the rather overpriced accessories Xbox and Playstation sell. If your game drops out, your connection to friends doesn't.

Showtimes
This is the most useful, comprehensive movie times app I could find for we poor Australians. There are plenty of movie time apps, but too many cater to only the US or only a small handful of Aussie cinemas, usually limited to main cities or a specific chain. This guy gives you plenty, with links to trailers, times and purchasing outlets.

Gametraders
This app connects you to Gametrader, an Aussie video game store retail chain. You get the skinny on hot deals, but more handily, you also have a virtual video game shelf. Add games you want to your wish-list shelf, then press them to shift them over to the games you own shelf, before finally shifting them once more to the trade in pile. You can also mark which games have been leant out and link them to your contact book. I also use this app to show family what I want for Christmas.

Toilet Map
Run by the federal government, this app is a pretty comprehensive survey of Australian public toilets. I've used other apps for this purpose, but most are very slow and US-centric. Being run by our own government, and designed for people with bowel and bladder health problems, Toilet Map can get you out of tight spots fast. All it needs is the ability to update info on johns.

HoursTracker
Get the lite version and you have a very thorough job tracker. Set up multiple jobs and clock on and off at your leisure, running several jobs at the same time. You can manually input hours and set different hourly rates for each job. The reporting can be broken down into day or job based summaries, and all of it can be exported as excel or PDF.

Domino's
Order your pizza, save your favourite orders and then watch the clock run through the different stages of your order in real time. I loe this because I know when to start salivating and when to get angry that my pizza's taking ages despite the clock saying it was delivered. A bit buggy when the phone locks, but otherwise neat.

Flashlight
Very simple, but when they added the ability to activate the flash on the back of the iPhone 4 and use it as a very powerful LED light, I blew my stack. Otherwise, use a bright white screen to find your keys or look under the hood of your car. I also use this with my iPad to act as a fill light for low budget film shoots.http://itunes.apple.com/au/app/anz-gomoney/id387076038?mt=8